And so today is the day…..
OK first of all. I am on a plane. Internet on a plane? Pretty awesome, and…..weird.
PDX to Boston
Boston to JFK
Fuuuuuck. I have been waiting for this day for almost a year. Avett Bros playing,sitting in an overcrowded plane that smells like plastic, BO and cheap cafeteria food. And I couldn’t be any happier.
I honestly don’t think the goodbyes have hit me yet. My parents are wonderful. They came to the airport with me, waited for me while I checked my bags and we said our goodbyes. My mom, my best friend and my dad, my superhero.
I said goodbye to everyone Sunday,had an amazing night,and my Best friends Monday. Stressed myself out Tuesday, packing. Goodbyes to my beautiful sister this morning before I left. Juan is picking me up from the airport. He helped me find an apartment. Took the deposit. He made all of this so much easier. I feel so lucky to have such beautiful people in my life.
So I start my adventure, I am terrified to be completely honest. Money scares me the most. I have a job interview on Friday, the salon I really want. I just hope things work out, I want to make it work. New York, god I feel like a little kid. New York is where I am meant to be, at this very moment. At 24 I finally know what I want. My career has become the love of my life. This is all I have thought about ever since I decided to do hair. Always knowing I wanted to accomplish something as runway and fashion hair. I want to work my ass off and will take whatever amazing opportunity comes my way. I will prove myself to be the most dedicated stylist.
New York or bust <3
Psssst. Guess what…
I leave for New York in 8 days. OH MY GOD. I honestly feel like a little kid. I am still scared and definitely stressed. Finding a place to live has proven itself to be incredibly difficult.
This is what I am ment to do. I have never felt so sure of something. I am ready. However, no one said it would be easy. And by now… I almost EXPECT bumps in the road.
So here I am, 4 days left at Dosha. Getting rid of everything I own. Selling my car. Saying goodbye to my life in the Northwest.
<3
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Water
My eyes hurt from staring at the computer screen. Looking for salons. Looking for apartments. Dreaming of my new home. Scared to leave my current comfortable. Anxious for the future. I overthink, constantly. What does that mean? What’s to come of this? What would happen if I did this differently?
Live in the moment. Life is a series of fucked up, crazy, disapointments. People suck. Life sucks. BLAH BLAH WAAAAHHH. Its how I will deal with it that truely will tell me who I am.
FUCKING BREATHE ALYSSA.
Last week I was at a friends house and I was talking to her about all of this. She was standing at her sink and turned on the water. Turned it off.Turned it on again, stuck a glass underneath the water and filled it up. Then turned off the water. All the while staring at me.
My beautiful friend told me something that rings so true. I have water.
I worry about money, life, create anxiety, complain. There are people that walk miles to get water,or go without it for days. I always have water,among other things. I will be fine.
I am actually doing this….life is too short.
If I don’t jump now, I never will. I need to shake up my life a bit.
Plane ticket-check. (yes, I bought it!!)
Tell work I am leaving-check. They were surprisingly supportive and I have 5 weeks left of work. I am able to take care of my most loved clients and say goodbye.
Job interview-CHECK! Woodley and Bunny :)
Stressed about finding a place but hopeful.
I can not wait to be walking on the streets of beautiful New York once again in less than 6 weeks.
Portland, you are my first love but I am having an affair with New York. Lets be friends. :)
I have never felt such a desire for something. Such a passion for the follow through. At this point, I have checked out. Honestly, I checked out the moment I stepped foot off the plane in New York.
Tonight I looked at plane tickets. If I buy one right now, for March 28th it is $150. What!? I could save $400. So whats the problem? With my luck the past year, I AM TERRIFIED TO BUY IT. Not because I am having second thoughts, not even close. I am scared something will happen that will yet again push my move date back. Something that I have to spend money on. I HATE MONEY. Right now, it is my biggest stress. I need to grow some balls and just do it. I need to trust that 2012 will be my year. Trust is a VERY hard thing for me to grasp.
Iwantthismorethananything.
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